Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
