I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
