it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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