"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
