At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
