My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
