I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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