he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
