we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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