I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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