I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
