Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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