I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think your dad took our porno
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
