were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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