This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You pole danced in your parka.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
