so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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