I'm really into asian looking animals
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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