What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize