operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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