Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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