why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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