she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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