yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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