But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
