Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't turn off my feet"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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