just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
