Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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