He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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