i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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