please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
