tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
