I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
