Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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