I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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