even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
