Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
