Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
