I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize