in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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