we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
