awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize