i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
