A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize