you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
