Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
