literally had 100 drinks last night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
