She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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