Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
