spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize