Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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