oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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