I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
