why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
