Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
