Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize