Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I am available for nakedness
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