Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
