the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it glows. i had to have it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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