just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
