Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
