please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
