He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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