Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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