But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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