I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
