did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize