The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
