i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
